‘If you can’t trust yourself, you can’t trust anything. Because if you can’t trust yourself, can you trust your mistrust of yourself? To live i must have faith. I must trust myself to the totally unknown. 

This is the problem of the relationship of man and nature. 

We need to experience ourselves in such a way that we could say, that our real body is not just whats inside the skin, but our whole total external environment. 

There is another self, more really us than ‘I’. And if you become aware of that unknown self, the more you realize that it is inseparably connected to everything else that there is. 

One should above all trust human nature, in the full recognition that its both good and bad. 

So then, here is a conception of nature, as something you must trust. Outside nature, and inside nature (human nature).

Now nature isn’t trustworthy, it will sometimes let you down,. But that’s the risk you take, that’s the risk of life. 

So here’s the choice, are you going trust it or not? And that is in human nature, and all nature around you. If you do trust it, you may get let down. 

But if you don’t trust it at all, life’s not worth living. 

To live I must have faith. I must trust myself to the totally unknown

It’s at that moment that you are a perfectly rational human being.’

This is part of an Alan Watts speech, and I can’t think of anything more relevant to us. 

Us, kids growing up, deeply ambivalent between this incredible lust for life and at the same time, a paralyzing fear of it.

About to jump into all we’ve ever wanted, all we’ve been afraid of. 

All the independence, freedom we could ever want, all the dreams we’ve ever had, the world is at our feet! 

But then there’s the other side of the coin, hanging over our heads, this all encompassing notion of reality, the whole world telling us to be realistic, until we’re as scared as they are, as ready to settle for anything, just as long as its what they call realistic. 

And that’s when we give into fear, when we start choosing majors that bore us, jobs, internships that bore us, when we bore ourselves to death, at 20, because its what everybody does. 

That’s what it feels like when I’m at home at least, I start considering going into law after all, because it’s realistic! It makes sense!

But the truth is, it doesn’t. That’s my fear talking, and the moment I give into it, I lose. A fear based decision is never the right one. 

But it takes distance for me to see that, travel, and not just the physical kind. Your body can be halfway across the world, with your mind stuck in that dreadful office cubicle.

The world is so big, so breathtakingly beautiful, so rich, so colorful, and I for one want to soak it up with all my senses. I want to spend my 20s (30s, 40s, 50s for that matter!!!) diving into all of it, head first, despite the risk of hitting rock bottom. I want to take risks, for the sake of it! Big ones! I want to try everything, learn everything, relentlessly chase what sets my soul on fire. I want to be open to all of it, completely vulnerable, fall hopelessly in love, get my heart broken, over and over. 

I want to choose love over fear, every day. 

Complete vulnerability is the most loving thing you could do for yourself, and with that, the rest of the world. 

Letting yourself be, simply, letting go of what you think you should be, have to be. 

Letting go of this perpetual state of masking yourself, denying yourself, mending, forcing yourself into what your fear of life is telling you to be, 

is where you take your first step. 

Where you make your first choice, between fear and love. 

(And you wanna know a secret? This fear is just an illusion anyways.

Because the truth is, the universe will always take care of you.)

Love, 

Mira